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Post by Kitty on Jan 7, 2008 22:51:16 GMT -5
Today in class.....
Me: "Here is the church, and here is the steeple, we sure are cute for two ugly people..." Jordan : "We are seeing the Pirates that Do Nothing on Friday." Me: "Did you see Juno? I LOVED IT!!!!" Jordan: "Of course I did Fertal Myrtal." -Jordan walks away- Me: "But, I have never reproduced...or had sex...."
_______________________________
Billy: Guess what I got for Christmas!!!!! Jordan: What??? Kitty: Yeah, what, what??? Billy -grabs something out of his pocket- A DANCING MONKEY!!!! Billy: -pushes down on the part of the pen you write with, and the monkey-on-a-stick moves up and down in the arms.- Nick: So, if the pen goes between the legs, that means that the pen is the....
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Post by Kitty on Jan 8, 2008 17:29:38 GMT -5
//Today in Math// Jeff: Who has gum? Ellie: I got mine from Jess -points to Jess- Jess: I got mine from Cheyanne. -points to Cheyanne- Cheyanne: -hands a stick of gum to Jeff- Douge: Yeah, that's right Jeff, enjoy that gum like an orgasm! Jeff: -starts to chew in a weird way, while dancing the Pop Lock and Drop It-
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 12, 2008 0:11:07 GMT -5
Dude, I worked on my profile forever && my mom told me it sucks. - Julia.
I found this funny.
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Post by Kaydee♥ on Jan 12, 2008 0:43:32 GMT -5
Might possibly be mature.....Depending on your definition of mature, of course.
||Tonight at the B-ball Homecoming game||
-Storm, my cousin, sits down one row in front of me when he sees me flirting with a guy- Me: STORM RAY! Get away from me now! Storm: -puts on headphones and ignores, though keeps watching- Jason:....Um....Does he think I'm gonna try to make out with you right here in the bleachers with all these band nerds sitting around us?(Which would be weird, seeing as we are only friends...for now -ebil laugh) Me: Good question....Can we chemically castrate him? Jason:...What the fruck is chemical castration? -slips hands over...yeah- Me: -dies laughing and chokes out the answer- You stick this needle in their balls and inject this poison and they shrivel up! Its supposed to be extremely painful. -dies laughing again- Storm: -looks sort of disturbed because he can't read lips and headphones are on so loud- Jason: I DON"T WANNA SEE STORM"S WORM! Me: ...Poke it through his jeans?
||I found this hilarius.......But it might just be me||
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Post by Julia on Jan 12, 2008 0:55:28 GMT -5
Today: Me: *walks into locker room && Victoria jumps in front of me* VICTORIA! I swear, someday I'm going to kill you, whore. Victoria: Me? Me: Yes, you. Victoria: falls to the floor on the other side of the room* FORGIVE ME! Me: *throws gym bag at her && my glasses fall out of the pocket* YOU FRIGGIN WHORE. YOU BROKE MY GLASSES! Victoria: You threw your bag at me. Me: It was self defesnse...
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Post by Kitty on Jan 12, 2008 10:31:32 GMT -5
Kaydee, it kinda disturbes me that you know that............*my virgin brain!!!!!!!*
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Post by Julia on Jan 12, 2008 15:43:55 GMT -5
It's not a quote, but something that should make you laugh.
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Post by Kat-la on Jan 15, 2008 18:41:20 GMT -5
Ok...so this happened as Lily and I were sitting in a bank...my mom was on the phone with someone making an account and Lily and I were sharing a chair cause they were HUGE...and Lily is talking in a baby voice..she's actually 17...but together we act like 3 year olds...if that...
Lily: *Hugs Kat around the stomache* Kat: Get off of me...I'm not a pillow Lily: NO! You are a teddy bear! Kat: Lily...get off Lily: *smacks Kat* Bad teddy...it's quiet time Kat: *Attempts to bite Lily* Lily: *Smacks Kat again* BAD TEDDY! NO BITE!!! Kat: Bitch Lily: *smacks Kat again!* BAD TEDDY! Be QUIET! It's Night-Night time! Kat's Mom: *Laughing her butt off while on the phone with PERSON who is laughing*
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 15, 2008 19:14:12 GMT -5
-is currently laughing her arse off-
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Post by Kitty on Jan 15, 2008 19:14:58 GMT -5
I was watching thte News and heard about the UFO sighting in Texas. Stephenville TX....
"Jason *forgot last name* has said he saw a UFO...*He tells his story* This is not the first UFO sighting he has witnessed."
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 15, 2008 19:17:15 GMT -5
IN IPC!:
Tu: So . . Alegbra? Me: Yeah, I did a few practice questions with my friend, Danny from Chigago and he got em! He's only like, 12! Tu: Really? He is smart! -says in Eastern accent because she is from the East- Me: Uh, Yeah. he has more homework than both of us. Tu: I wanna meet him . . . . -gets red- Me: GOD, TU! HE'S LIKE 12! YOU ARE LIKE 14! Tu: 15. Me: GAH! Chelsea: He sounds cute. . . . . . . -talks like she's from Bronx even though she's from Louisiana- Me: BUT YOU ARE SIXTEEN! -screaming in Texas accent- ______________________ The chicks dig smart 12 year olds.
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Post by Kaydee♥ on Jan 16, 2008 17:32:00 GMT -5
-shakes head- Poor Danny-Xa isn't going to know what to do with himself. xD
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Post by Kat-la on Jan 16, 2008 18:14:08 GMT -5
DUDE! He's like PIGLET!!! OK! So Piglet is the younger brother to Piggy, or our drum major and one of my BFF's Mark...the guy I want Lily to date....anyways....Piglet was a freshmen but is now a sophmore and still only about...5 foot? He was 4 foot 11 when he was a freshman...anyways...we use to go to the consession stand during 3rd quarter and ALL the girls from the rival band were like "AWWW....who was that cute little trumpet player....he's SOOO adorable!!! I want to date him. I want to cuddle him...ect" and Mark was always just hanging his head and walking away...but anyways...my mom, myself, Mark and I were at Perkins earlier this year:
Kat's Mom: So they really said that? *All 3 nod* Kat's Mom: Well Kevin (Piglet), You know what that means? Piglet: No....what? Kat's Mom: You are the latest craze....you are small and cute enough to be a pocket pal Makr and Kat: *ROTFFLOFAO* Piglet: *Blushes and hangs head...mortified that Kat's MOM said that....* Kat: *after she can finally breathe again* Mom...you're amazing
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Post by Kitty on Jan 16, 2008 18:52:49 GMT -5
Your lucky to have a mom like that. ^^
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Post by Kat-la on Jan 16, 2008 22:58:55 GMT -5
E-mail I got from my father up in Ohio....he had gotten it so...yeah....it's freaking hilarious....10 steps to Dating My Daughter:
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like change the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 17, 2008 21:04:06 GMT -5
No new messages 17 Jan 08, 21:05 Tally-Wa: -laughs arse off- 17 Jan 08, 21:04 Danny: *hic* 17 Jan 08, 21:04 Danny: A DISH swatter! 17 Jan 08, 21:04 Danny: A DYING fish swatter. 17 Jan 08, 21:04 Danny: No, no, you need a FISH swatter. 17 Jan 08, 21:01 Kat: *grabs fly swatter* 17 Jan 08, 21:01 Kat: I'm done with you Danny...I disown you 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: *hiccup* 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: I LOVE PAIN MEDS! 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: *laughs hysterically* 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: KIT KAT! 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: Kitty Kat! 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: lol 17 Jan 08, 21:00 Danny: But there's a Kitty!
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 17, 2008 21:11:41 GMT -5
17 Jan 08, 21:13 Danny: Plus, I'm not a frog face anymore... 17 Jan 08, 21:12 Danny: I'm not a frog, dangit, I'm a fish! 17 Jan 08, 21:12 Kat: NOPE! and YES....I could do so VERY easily...especially if I imagined your frog face ON the dying fish.... 17 Jan 08, 21:11 Kat: ... 17 Jan 08, 21:11 Danny: Tally, wanna make me a graphic of Kat shooting a dying fish with a dryer? 17 Jan 08, 21:10 Danny: Hair dryer.... 17 Jan 08, 21:10 Danny: Wait a few minutes...maybe get a heater or something. 17 Jan 08, 21:10 Danny: How could you shoot a sick, dying, defenseless fish?...they flop around way too much! 17 Jan 08, 21:10 Kat: *throws swatter away and grabs bazzuka....THIS WORKS!!!!!* FIRE!!! *fires!!!*
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 17, 2008 21:11:56 GMT -5
17 Jan 08, 21:13 Danny: More of a pig...didn't cha see the pig tails?
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Post by Kitty on Jan 17, 2008 22:19:54 GMT -5
I think Kitty is better than Kitten. I was called Kitten because it made me mad for awhile. >.< Now, everyone calls me Cat, so I'm good. ^^
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Post by Keisha! on Jan 18, 2008 1:06:23 GMT -5
ok so this is from a while back... my friend tina and i were sitting in english and i was fixing her necklace. it was two marti gras ones, ya kno whut i mean? welll we were like, idk twisting them together. so then she tried to put it on and it wouldn't go over her head. TINA: I AM MOSES! (puts hands together nun like) ME: NO YOUR JESUS!!! *cue hysterical laughter* later... ME: well then who am i? TINA: ZEUS! later still... ME: you being jesus is really religioust (idk, eqivalent to racist) YOU ARE NOW JUSEE!!! (rearragned letters of jesus) lateerrrr... MAT (mmm... yummylicious crush of mine): why are you calling her juicy? ME: its jesus rearranged.
TODAY IN ENGLISH eric was presenting why we should ban a book. a boy gets raped in it. by another man. JORDY: i agree we should ban it... i mean gay rape seems like it would be awkward ERIC: trust me it is *cue class + teacher laughter for 3 minutes* in this 3 minutes... B ("nick"): WOW NICE LAUGH KEISHA KEISHA: HEY, YOU WANT THAT CANDY OR NOT???
idk, i guess you'da had'ta been there. just yea :]
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Post by Kat-la on Jan 18, 2008 17:47:15 GMT -5
totally just asking...but would that book happen to be "Kite Runner?"
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Post by Daniel on Jan 18, 2008 21:00:10 GMT -5
It's Kat's favorite book of all time, don't say anything! lol, just kidding...ignore me.
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Post by Kaydee♥ on Jan 18, 2008 22:04:52 GMT -5
My friend and I are known for telling each other stories. Why? I have no clue. This is copy&&pasted from YIM. When it gets to hers, it might be a little mature, depending on your definition. Both stories are true. ^^
Kaydee: I have a story for you Michaela: yay! Kaydee: Ok Kaydee: This is gonna sound really funny and stupid Kaydee: I know this Kaydee: That is why I am gonna share it Kaydee: . Our middle school and high school sit on the same grounds Kaydee: At the middle school, there is this mexican kid who got some pills of sort from a guy at his church Kaydee: Later, he started getting calls from this 'clown', who told him he was going to kill him Michaela: lol Michaela: kk Kaydee: Soon, all the mexicans had gotten these calls Kaydee: Then he moved on the the white kids Kaydee: The first kid flipped out at lunch and started screaming about the clown was going to kill him today Kaydee: Then the school got a bomb threat from the clown Kaydee: The whole school flipped out Michaela: ... Kaydee: They were talking about shutting down Kaydee: It turned out to be the dude from the church who gave the kid the pills Michaela: ...omg Kaydee: I find it hilarius Kaydee: Because the bomb threat was just to scare people Kaydee: I was also told that it happened through mainly txts Kaydee: Which makes it more funny Michaela: omg Michaela: Okay, my story time of stupidity: Michaela: Keep in mind that this story was on the FRONT PAGE of the paper, with a PICTURE in COLOR. Michaela: So, there was a bomb threat, right? It was this box, with this thikng that was sticking out, and they thought it looked like a missle. Michaela: So they pulled in the Nashville bomb squad, and everything. They destroy it, and they opened it up after, and discovered it had a small motor and lots of PVC pipe Michaela: AND Michaela: The thing sticking out turned out to be an "adult novelty toy"!! Kaydee: ...... Kaydee: SERIOUSLY? Kaydee: xDDDDD Michaela: YES Michaela: IT WAS PINK, FOR GODS SAKE Kaydee: .... Kaydee: No!! Michaela: STICKING OUT Michaela: PINK! Kaydee: ....xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Michaela: YES Michaela: JB came into the band office saying he was going to send it to Leno. Kaydee: I hope he did
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Post by Julia on Jan 18, 2008 22:11:59 GMT -5
Alrighty, this is from, like, around Christmas. We were talking about Em's birthday && how she was going to kick his arse. It was just copy && paste. =/ Vu: WHY'D YOU SUGGEST IT TO HER! ? HOW COULD YOU!? Me: I thought I was doing you a favour. lol. I'm sorry, Emo Voozers. D= Vu: I dont think getting my arse kicked is a favor. -.-'
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Post by Kaydee♥ on Jan 18, 2008 23:14:16 GMT -5
Kaydee: -steals cricket- kat_molly_potter: *grabs cricket back and bites Kaydee* kat_molly_potter: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING DEVIL SPAWN??? kat_molly_potter: STEALING A CRICKET!!! kat_molly_potter: *glares* Kaydee: HE WAS GONNA BE MY BOYFRIEND! -is in cricket form- Kaydee: xD kat_molly_potter: THEN YOU ASK! kat_molly_potter: No just TAKING a CRICKET! kat_molly_potter: FROM! ME! kat_molly_potter: THE CRICKET GODESS!!!! Kaydee: -shakes head- Kaydee: -transforms back to regular Kaydee- Kaydee: Hi kat_molly_potter: HI! kat_molly_potter: So....this crazy cricket chick totally just tried to take one of my precicius crickets....for her BOYFRIEND! The nerve of that devil spawn... Kaydee: ... Kaydee: Wow Kaydee: How weird Kaydee: ... Kaydee: -shifty eyes- kat_molly_potter: I KNOW! kat_molly_potter: *glances around for evil cricket*
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