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Post by Kitty on Dec 17, 2007 20:56:41 GMT -5
Since we all need a break from stressing out over a book/movie *I think I'm the only one that's like hyperventalating, and cussing out the casting crew, so the movie was for my sanity* so I thought I would make a new thread! I just read some really funny things, and remembered how much I love the quote posts, because I'm a Quote Fanatic! It can be from the conversation you had with your friend, to something you read, or just a random thingy that popped in your head! Coolio, huh?
To start us off, I thought nothing could do better than Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
"Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us. Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches? Peasant 1: Burn them. Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches? Peasant 1: More witches. Peasant 2: Wood. Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn? Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood? Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood? Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her? Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build a bridge out of stone? Peasant 1: Oh, yeah... Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water? Peasant 1: No, no, it floats! ... It floats! Throw her in the pond! Sir Bedevere: No, no, what else floats in water? Peasant 1: Bread? Peasant 2: Apples? Peasant 3: Very small rocks? Peasant 1: Cider? Peasant 2: Gravy? Peasant 3: Cherries? Peasant 1: Mud? Peasant 2: Churches? Peasant 3: Lead! Lead! King Arthur: A duck. Sir Bedevere: Exactly! So, logically... Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood. Sir Bedevere: And therefore... Peasant 2: ... A witch!" Classic. ____________________________________________________ Next one is something I found on Fanficiton.net. If you like Eragon *its like one of the dirty secrets for me, because it is so dorky, and Saphira is kinda cheesey, even in the book, but I have to say, I read the second one and didn't really love it, then the movie came out and I was like druling over Murtagh....so yeah while most book reader's hated the movie, it actually sparked my interest...^^* That was really long and unessessary, but here it is. Oh! And, before you read, SpottedSat106 likes to have OCC time with her charries before/after her stories, and this is what it is! ___________________________________________________ "Safari: I hope you enjoyed the prologue!
Murtagh: Hey, where’s Spottedstar?
Eragon: She had to go to her grandparents’ house.
Murtagh: Oh . . . PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Lights go off and disco ball comes out of the ceiling)
Safari: When did we get a disco ball?
Murtagh: I got it installed when Spottedstar wasn’t looking.
Eragon: I call DJ!
[[Later]]
(All the Eragon characters are in my room partying)
Eragon: PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Murtagh: I am a hiccup very pretty lady!
Rai: Mommy, is daddy finally lost it?
Safari: No honey. Daddy is just too drunk to tell if he’s a man or not.
Murtagh: Damn hiccup right I am!
(Door slams open to reveal ME!)
WHAT THE HELLS GOING ON HERE?!
All: (cringes)
Whose DAMN BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE A PARTY IN MY ROOM?!
All: (glances at each other and points at Murtagh) His!
Murtagh: EEP!
DIE! (attacks Murtagh)
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Dec 18, 2007 12:52:37 GMT -5
Quotes from Tally's life during her Groundation: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ M-Ra: -sobs- What happens if I tell Dexter (The name I gave to our GPS) no!?! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ T-Wa: God, the class must think I'm a homicidal maniac. S-La: Which, of course, you are. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ T-Wa: -in Spanish class- IT'S TIME TO DANCE! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ K-La (Not Kat): THIS IS BLOODY BRILLIANT! T-Wa: Tell me something I DON'T know. K-La: Fine then. You are a mentally insane pathological pyro who is not modest in the least. T-Wa: Well . . . Two outta four ain't that bad.
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Post by Kitty on Dec 18, 2007 21:59:54 GMT -5
Lol!!!! I like the last one 'Two outta four ain't bad!
Okay, so my brother and I were talking about uploading crap on our computer.
Alex: It would take 14 years to upload Sims on your comuter. Kitty: I love mi old computer! Wiseness comes with age. Alex: And so wise means being slow? Then you must be really wise in Track.
He was a meanie, but it had my family rolling on the ground...
"What would you do for a kondike bar?" [me] "Umm...nothing they are gross." [Adam] "What about a blondike bar?" [Me] "I don't know, but I know what I would do with a blondike bar." [Adam]
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Post by Julia on Dec 19, 2007 18:39:00 GMT -5
So, this was me and my buddy today.
Caleb: Did you send it? Me: Send what? Caleb: What do you think? Me: I don't think. Caleb: True. But, seriously. Did you send it? Me: No. Caleb: Do you know who did? Me: Yes. Caleb: Can you tell me? Me: No. Caleb: Why? Me: You asked...
another friend:
Dylan: Lee, when do I get my Christmas card? Me: I didn't know you wanted one. Dylan: Well, everyone else is getting one. Me: Only the girls. Dylan: So where's mine?
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Post by Daniel on Dec 19, 2007 22:05:37 GMT -5
Father-Son Conversation
Me: This week, we've gone from page 114 to 140 in science, taken notes, had quizzes, and done the chapter review. I have to do a third of the notes tonight, plus the review. The chapter test is on Friday. Dad: So how far are you into it? What are you on? Me: English notes. Dad: Oh.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me in Geography
Teacher: A fjord (fee-ord) is kind of like a valley. Me: What the fjord? Other student: Stop swearing.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Dec 19, 2007 22:20:28 GMT -5
There's a rare moment that every Horror fan lives for. The moment when her knowledge will be used to show how intelligent she is.
Coach P (My World Geo Teacher): Kay kids, now that we're done talking about Aliens, anything else? -girl raises hand- C.P: Yes, Devon? Devon: Did the Texas Chainsaw Massacre really happen? I raised my hands C.P: Yes K? Me: I'm a horror film buff and I feel that I can answer this question with the best of truth. C.P: Kay then. Go ahead. The room goes silent because the girl who hardly ever talks except in whispers actually proclaims her love for something so horrid! So strange! So incredibly awesome that they cannot help but go silent!
Me: It was inspired by a man called Ed Gien. He lives in West Texas and began by killing his mother (-rambles-)
Devon: Anything else? Me: Nope.
Cute boy in row one named Brian: Did you see the Saw films? Me: Hell yes! -high fives cute boy-
At the end of period.
Me: I hope you guys don't think I'm psycho. C.P: No! you are just practicing for your job. . /What do you wanna be when you grow up? Me: Criminologist for the FBI, actually. C.P: Good. Now, back to the Mayans!
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Post by Kat-la on Dec 21, 2007 15:21:51 GMT -5
WARNING! MATURE CONTENT!!! FUNNY BUT MATURE!!!! RATED FOR LANGUAGE AND INNUENDOS!!!!
OK! So conversations between my friends.
Christey: AARON! You were in my dream last night! Aaron: Was I with Brendon...again Christey: Of course not, he's MINE! Aaron: Was I counting how many guys you could fit? Wait...how many is it? Christey: 50, wanna be 51? Aaron: No thanks...
Christey: Morning Aaron! Aaron: Hey! Christey: Guess who was in my dream last night? Aaron: Christey! You are such a WHORE! Christey: .................. Lily and Kat: *rolling on the floor laughing* Christey: *Slams door.* Just because I'm a sexually frustrated virgin teenager doesn't make me a WHORE! *walks away*
Aaron: Brendon is a bitch Christey: YOU FUCKING CUNT! I'll kill you you bitch!!! He's not a BITCH! You CUNT! Kat and Lily *Again rolling on the floor laughing*
Kat: *Hands Christey her christmas present* Christey: You know...I can't show this to anyone else...they'll get the wrong idea.... Kat: Why? Just cause you have this secret fantasy of Dan and Brendon fucking each other and I made a graphic saying rape was no longer a factor cause Dan was 18...how could that POSSIBLY give people the wrong idea... Christey: I don't know....
Lily: *hands Kat her Christmas Present* Kat: *unrolls shirt that says Let's Focus On Me* Christey: GREAT! Now her head is gonna get bigger Aaron: Wait...Brendon's head is gonna get bigger? I think I missed something...You can barely fit him as it is... Christey: ....bitch.....
*In Class we got handed these papers with thank yous from people* My Sheet: 1. Thanks for all the awesome insight 2. Yeah, insight...yours is great 3. Insight...wait....what does that mean?
And then there were a bunch of personal ones but I was just like....wow....
E-mail from Aaron <3 Different Aaron then the other stories though.
Well! You'll have to beat my friend Rachel to kidnap me... Me: Who the bloody hell is Rachel (In text to Christey) Christey: I don't care...I'll beat her ass
Kat(Me in 3rd person for those of you who are getting confuzzled): So...Matt....what did you get me for Christmas? Matt: Nothing...I spent it all on Aly Christey: Who's Aly? Matt: ... My Girlfriend.... Christey: DUDE! You have a GIRLFRIEND! SINCE WHEN??? Matt: We've been dating for two years now.... Christey: Whoops....
Kat: So....Mark....Becca and Jessey broke up Mark: When? Kat: About 2 weeks after you asked out your girlfriend Mark: Are you for real? Kat: *nods* Ironic no? Mark: Fucking figures. Kat: Why? Just because you've liked her forever and a day and were going to ask her out but find out she had a BF and so you've been pinning over her forever and then when you ask someone else out...who's a freshman to your senior-ness and she is single again... *starts laughing* Mark: *glares* Not only that! I ran into her when she was at work...and my moms boyfriend told me if I found a way to get rid of her boyfriend he would let me drive his lexus on the date Kat: Are you for serious? Mark: Yeah... Kat: Dude...sucks to be you....*runs away as Mark begins to chase her*
Kat: So...what's the difference between Alexa and a board of wood? Christey: What? Kat: The board of wood has bigger boobs and a bigger ass.
Kat: What's that smell? Mike: Alexa, close your legs.
Kat: Whats a looser then this bolt? *points to loose bolt on screw* Mike: Alexa's vagina?
Kat: What's bigger then this circle Mike: Alex's vagina
Kat: So...Alexa's not gonna be at the concert Steve: We might actually sound good for once.
Kat: Emily! How do you feel you did on the U.S. History Exam? Emily: *Trying to ask Steve to share music with her* Steve...do you want to feel with me? Steve: ....not particularly.... Emily: Awww.... Kat and Mike: *rolling on the floor laughing*
(Alexa is this eh kind of girl in band...she has no boobs and no ass and can be a bitch...but it's sooooo much fun to pick on her.)
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Post by Julia on Dec 21, 2007 16:41:09 GMT -5
Okay. Christmas party was today, k? I had to miss it to do makeup work from when I was sick. So, I'm in the hall working on homework when my friend comes us. Not very funny, but, oh, well...
Caleb: What are you doing. Me: Homework, you manwhore. Caleb: Don't call me a manwhore, you bitch. Me: I'll call you a manwhore if I want to, bastard. Caleb: Then I'll call you a slut. Me: And I'll call you a dick. Caleb: Then I'll call you a cunt. Me: ...What's the answer to number twelve?
DJ: My mom told me there's a V word. Apparently bad, but I can't think of what it is. Brent: VAGINA!
LynLyn: Dammit, you little sevies are too young to be getting down and dirty with the words. Me: LynLyn, you talked like us in third grade. [btw, LynLyn is a name I call her because she hates it. She was talking about how bad our language is. =) ]
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Post by Kat-la on Dec 22, 2007 0:07:46 GMT -5
Last warning...just assume half the stuff I'll post is mature....
Kat: *Hands Christey newest chapter* You won't let anyone read that will you? Christey: Why would I? Kat: I don't know Christey: They would look at me like a freak...I'm reading a story that includes myself and the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco and our dating, engagement and wedding and the sex in-between...that my BFF wrote... Kat: Yeah...you're the freak...of course...the person who WROTE it wouldn't be.... Christey: I didn't say she wasn't...but why would I let anyone know what you wrote? Kat: Cause...i don't know? Christey: EXACTLY! Kat: What? Christey: I don't know...I just like shouting that word. Kat: -_-
Christey: Wow...Kat...you totally just bitched Katie out... Kat: So? Christey: Damn...that was good Kat: My mommy taught me well Kat's Mommy: Yeah...hun you have to learn...there is no way I couldn't teach her that. Christey: Of course mommy 2
Kat: CHRISTEY! GUESS WHAT??? Christey: You've allowed me to full-fill my fantasy of Dan on Brendon Sex? Kat: ...not exactly.... Christey: Ok...fine...what Kat: I'm going to your circus show!!! Christey: Whoo.....hoo? Kat: *sighs* Let's try it again. CHRISTEY! GUESS WHAT? Christey: WHAT? Kat: *ponders on what to say* BRENDON AND DAN CAN HAVE SEX! Christey: .... Kat: Christey? Christey: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Kat: *walks away from happyily screaming girl in parking lot*
Kat: *To Steve* So...you're sister...Angela...totally made out with her italian lover behind the trucks Angela: I'm going to kill you if this rumor spreads Steve: LEAVE THAT TO ME! *5 minutes later* *Kaitlyn comes walking up laughing* Kaitlyn: So...Angie...what happened behind the trucks??? Angela: *SCREAMS* Everyone else: *rolling on the floor laughing*
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Post by Julia on Dec 22, 2007 0:48:44 GMT -5
Ohmygee, Kat. It may be mature, but it is funny!
Okay, so something about "skateboarding"
Rick: I've been trying to land a kickflip. Me: Yeah, me, too. Rick: I didn't know you skateboard. Me: Of course I do. I'm as good as Ryan Sheckler. Rick: But you can't land a kickflip? Me: Of course not. Rick: Why? Me: I have horrible fingers. Rick: But you can do maunals and wallplants and rides and stuff like that? Me: Yeah. Rick: But no kickflip. Me: Nope. Rick: Why? Me: Thiumbs. Rick: What the hell? Me: Well, my sexy skater guy just sucks arse at kickflips... Rick: You're talking about Tony Hawk's Proving Ground?! Me: Yeah, weren't you? Rick: No. Me: Oh...Nevermind, then.
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Post by Kat-la on Dec 22, 2007 16:37:10 GMT -5
Not Mature
Kat on the Phone with Lily: Ok, so...I feel like I haven't been off my phone for the past two hours...any idea why?? (Said sarcasticly by the way) Lily: Maybe it's cause I've had you call like 10 people back and forth multiple times to help me plan my party for tomororw? Kat: Naw...really? Lily: It's a possibility Kat: I loathe you Lily: I love you too, Bye
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Dec 23, 2007 21:39:23 GMT -5
Slightly mature
_________________________________________________ AT THE DENTIST'S OFFICE!
Dr. C: Your mom is smaller than you are! Me: In more ways than one. -looks down at chest- ____________________________________________________ Me: You know what the letter of the day is? Random Kid: No. What? Me: D. you know what it stands for? RK: What? Me: Daddy. You know why? RK: Why? Me: Because your momma's what we did last night! _________________________________________________ Em: I don't cuss anymore. Me: shut the bloody hell up you whore, of course you do. Kris: Did you just call her a whore? Me: Hell yes I did. _________________________ Me: -points at overgrown garden- Way too overgrown. Kris: -points at chest- Yes, you are! ____________________________________-
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Post by Kitty on Dec 24, 2007 11:57:09 GMT -5
Me with mi buddy Tate. *Tate is like this Teacher's Pet, and his mind can be DISGUSTING but he is one of the sweetest guys ever!*
-Tate and I listen to Beginner band, getting ready for a pep rally- Tate: You know... Kitty: Know what? Tate: -starts to make rapping sounds- Kitty: -sets down clarinet- She get lower than a mother, she it wit her friends, she's a showstopper...-raps- Superman that OH! Yeah watch me crank that Solja Cop... Tate: Haters get mad 'cause I got me some babymates. Tate: Man, I wish I could play that on my Trumpet. Kitty: Me too Tate, me too.
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Post by Julia on Dec 25, 2007 8:01:49 GMT -5
It's "Superman that hoe." Just saying. My friends and I have figured it out on the trombone. I would be the rap artist because I'm the only one who knows that words. ^_^
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Post by Kaydee♥ on Dec 27, 2007 3:52:46 GMT -5
On public stations, It says oh. ^^ Or it does on some.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Dec 27, 2007 21:21:29 GMT -5
On Scott Westerfeld's blog:
COMMENTS: Lizzy:wow. i dont no HOW you people rite this much… Lena-La (me): If you have an ipod, Gingerbread coffee creamer, and a computer, ANYTHING (Yes, even writing) is possible.
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Post by Bai on Dec 28, 2007 22:13:39 GMT -5
BOY MEETS WORLD QUOTE: Dad (Al): What happened at school today guys? Cory: Nothing Dad: Hold it. Everyday I asked you what happened and everyday you say nothing. Now I want to know what happend. Cory: I decided to be a girl Dad: Well you tought me a very vaulable lesson there
lol ish loves that show...Ish saw the clip on youtube ^^
Dad: Dressing up as a girl? Cory: I'm a journilist dag nabbit
Topanaga: You want me to dress you up like a girl? Cory: Please? Make Cory pretty
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Dec 30, 2007 1:30:16 GMT -5
I have this friend, Kels, who is strictly Christian because her mother is uber Christian. Her mom HATES me because of many reaons. One of them is that I'm pagan (A.K.A. A believer in Pre-Christian Beliefs. I AM NOT ATHIEST!) So we were talking and:
Kels: I'm just not allowed to go to the movies alone with you.
Me: Yeah, because you just KNOW I'll convert you to Paganisum with a secret ritual in the bathrooms if you dare go to the theater ALONE with me.
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Post by Julia on Dec 30, 2007 18:31:42 GMT -5
Well. D= How was I supposed to know?
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Post by Julia on Jan 5, 2008 0:18:39 GMT -5
Alright, so. My friend and I were watching this commercial for Make Me a Supermodel, and this is how it went after the commercial:
Me: Maybe I could be a model. *strikes a pose* Dylan: Maybe. Me: But don't you have to be pretty to be a model...and skinny? Dylan: Not if you're a plus size model! They're always fat and ugly, just like you! Me: Go play in traffic, bastard.
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Post by Kitty on Jan 5, 2008 0:24:00 GMT -5
Ouch.
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Post by Julia on Jan 6, 2008 15:59:47 GMT -5
Alright, this was in Subway today. This old, fat lady was wearing all this Dallas Cowboys stuff.
Me: So, you're a Dallas fan? Lady: Yeah. Are you? Me: Nope. I'm a Patriots fan. Lady: *face turns red, like she's angry* Well, then you don't belong in Texas. Me: Alrighty! Have a nice day, I guess you and track me down and kill me when the Patriots beat Dallas at the SuperBowl.
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Post by Kitty on Jan 6, 2008 18:55:20 GMT -5
o.O Its like Argyle all in one person. No wonder shes fat.
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Post by Kitty on Jan 6, 2008 22:54:37 GMT -5
[[This one you start from the top and work your way down. ^^]]
Kaydee[[zero]]: -note- TALLY IS GROUNDED FOR PRETTY MUCH THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR! ^^ Julia: Tally's grounded for four months? Kitty: I hope not. That would suck, of course it would help me with my Resolution... Tally-Wa: -sneaks on- Tally-Wa: What resolution (PM me the answer) Tally-Wa: Not exactly the rest of the year. -.- Tally-Wa: Just until I pass, oh ye of little faith.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 7, 2008 16:25:00 GMT -5
O.K, so I sat at lunch with a bunch of girls today. I don't normally sit with them . .. But here's some quotes from my . . .. Eventful day with the 'Pink Diamonds'. May be slightly perverted. Also: K talks about a musical with a potential boyfriend!
Adreinne: Go Pink Diamonds! K: So I guess that means I'm a Pink Diamond now? Adrienne: More like a White Diamond, oh White Oh-Hell-No (My new nickname) _________________________________ -K sucks on corndog- Random Boy: Hey, white girl, I got something bigger than that corndog to suck on. K: Yeah, so does your momma. ______________________________________ _______________________________________ In dance class. . . K: -yells- I CANNOT POP, LOCK, AND DROP IT! ____________________________________ Adrienne and K are trying out for their 'musical' K: So now, Sheila, since you got me in trouble, you gonna die! -sings- Adrienne: Wait, -still singing- my shoe's untied.
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