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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 17, 2008 20:27:47 GMT -5
OK, this board is for Rose and I so that I can show her proper GASP. BUT! If you want to join in by teaching or learning, feel free!
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 17, 2008 20:43:29 GMT -5
Okay,let's start learning!
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 17, 2008 20:48:05 GMT -5
First off, it's NOT: Okay,let's start learning! It's: Okay,-SPACE- let's start learning!
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 12:58:50 GMT -5
Okay, like this:
Okay, let's start learning!
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 13:46:06 GMT -5
YES!
Okay, first off is Lesson One: Writing a literate post.
Attempt to make a random post as ANYONE. It doesn't matter if it's Rose or just a random named Bob.
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 16:40:48 GMT -5
Like This:
Bob walked up into the school, and sighed.He opened the door only to see that nobody was their.He looked in the classrooms,lunchrooms,and the gym.Nobody was here.He walked over to an empty desk and sat down.Then Bob looked at the calendar.It was Saturday.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 16:48:59 GMT -5
OK, there are several things wrong with that one paragraph.
First of all, remember the rule with commas? Well, it applies to periods too! Instead of: Bob walked up into the school, and sighed.He opened the door only to see that nobody was their.He looked in the classrooms,lunchrooms,and the gym.Nobody was here.He walked over to an empty desk and sat down.Then Bob looked at the calendar.It was Saturday.
It would be: Bob walked up into the school, and sighed. He opened the door only to see that nobody was there (Be careful with the there/their!). He looked in the classrooms, lunchrooms, and the gym. Nobody was there (Not here). He walked over to an empty desk and sat down. Then, Bob looked at the calendar. It was Saturday.
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 16:55:02 GMT -5
Okay, so like this:
Bob walked up into the school, and sighed. He opened the door only to see that nobody was there. He looked in the classrooms, lunchrooms, and the gym. Nobody was there. He walked over to an empty desk and sat down. Then, Bob looked at the calendar. It was Saturday.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 16:58:22 GMT -5
Yeah, basically.
Now, -thinks of a new exercise-.
Lesson One, Part two: Adding Detail into a Post
Now, write the same thing, only with a few details about Bob. His posture as he slumped in the desk, for example.
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 17:02:57 GMT -5
Bob walked up into the school,tired and bored, and sighed. He opened the door slowly, only to see that nobody was there. He looked in the classrooms, lunchrooms, and the gym. Nobody was there. He walked over to an empty desk and sat down,angrily. Then, Bob looked at the calendar,wondering. It was Saturday.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 17:09:05 GMT -5
Now, if we were trying to really trying to lengthen it, it would go something like this: (I'll be changing the character up a bit and adding in detail)
Bob, an angry teenager, kicked the lockers as he made his way into his own classroom. He looked around the empty classroom and felt a foreboding sense of fear. Bob (You have to mention the name every once in a while) finally looked at the clock. It was seven. "Where the Hell is everyone?" (You ALWAYS start a new paragraph with new speech) Bob asked himself as he looked at the calender in his planner. The date was Saturday, Febuary 12th. He didn't have school today. " Damn it," (Put a comma at the end of speech unless there's no 'said Bob' at the end) said Bob as he packed up his things and went home, tired and embarressed.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 17:09:28 GMT -5
Notice how that one paragraph turned into something slightly bigger?
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 17:13:01 GMT -5
Yes. But since you already re-wrote the paragraph, should I write another one? I'm just asking.
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 17:16:10 GMT -5
Well, that's the part 2 of part 2 (xD)! Now, write an entirely new paragraph told from this person's point of view. I will give you a list of her traits and such:
Samantha Simon 15 Years old Brown Hair with blond highlights (Try to describe the hair in detail, it helps take up space) Brown eyes (But you can add cute little details about them) She has a minor superiority complex. This means that she thinks she better than everyone else.
She's either: At the Mall, in the bathroom at the Red Lobster, or on a date.
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 17:36:03 GMT -5
Samantha Simon 15 Years old Brown Hair with blond highlights (Try to describe the hair in detail, it helps take up space) Brown eyes (But you can add cute little details about them) She has a minor superiority complex. This means that she thinks she better than everyone else.
She's either: At the Mall, in the bathroom at the Red Lobster, or on a date.
Okay, like this :
Samantha walked in the movie theater and sat down,worried. Even though she was 15, she had never been on a date. Samantha hasn't even had her first kiss yet. She flipped her long, brunette back, and walked out of the theater. Now any boy could see her dark hair with the stunning blond highlights. Even her light brown eyes sparkled in the light. Samantha called her 'friends' and yelled at them for putting her up to this. Samantha glared at herself as she saw a girl go to the theater too. Sam stood up, just about to leave, before the boy she had been walking for came inside. Samantha smiled to herself, flipped her hair back, and started to flirt with him.
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Post by Julia on Jan 18, 2008 17:40:28 GMT -5
I remember doing this on Neopets. I found it hell. xD
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 17:56:27 GMT -5
Good job! But, there were a few grammar mistakes:
Samantha walked in the movie theater and sat down,-SPACE-worried. Even though she was 15, she had never been on a date. Samantha hasn't even had her first kiss yet. She flipped her long(I don't even know if a comma is required here) brunette HAIR back, and walked out of the theater. Now any boy could see her dark hair with the stunning blond highlights (Nice). Even her light brown eyes sparkled in the light (Very nice filler). Samantha called her 'friends' and yelled at them for putting her up to this. Samantha glared at herself as she saw ANOTHER girl go to the theater too. Sam stood up, just about to leave, before the boy she had been WAITING for came inside. Samantha smiled to herself, flipped her hair back, and started to flirt with him.
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Post by Julia on Jan 18, 2008 17:58:55 GMT -5
Yeah. A comma's required. =] Just helping.
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Post by Daniel on Jan 18, 2008 20:55:52 GMT -5
Whenever you list something without and, a period is required...I think. I didn't actually get to studying that part of English, although we're learning it right now. lol.
OK, because I'm bored and wanna help out:
COMMAS ARE USED TO
- separate words or groups of words in a series. ex=Bob, Joe, and Rick ate lunch together.
-to set off a short quotation or parts of a divided quotation. ex="I refuse to spend my time," Bob explained impatiently, "preparing for that project."
-to separate independent elements/words of direct address. ex=No, I don't feel like it. / Coach, are you ready?
-to set off parts of dates, addresses, or geographical names. ex=6666 1st Street, Sector 6, Hellston / July 4, 1776
That's about half of them. The others are more complicated. I'll post later with explanations. (Thanks to Voyages in English: Writing and Grammar for background info).
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Post by Julia on Jan 18, 2008 21:04:55 GMT -5
Hey look, it's a bird! No, it's a plane. NO! It's...actually, it's a bird. But ooh, look in the library! It's a Supernerd!
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Post by Kaydee♥ on Jan 18, 2008 21:27:48 GMT -5
Julia, behave. -.-;;; I was an English tutor and had to teach someone this stuff, too...
Tally, cover the changes between 'nobody' and 'no one'.
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Post by Julia on Jan 18, 2008 21:30:37 GMT -5
Danny's the one that typed it. =[
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 21:37:14 GMT -5
Okay, I get it, well apart of it. We are learning about paragraph in English at the moment. When I had to type a report for Math(Yea, why would I have type a report for my Math teacher? I know, its a long story.) , I got like errors on the page because I didn't space between comma's and period's. I never really noticed it until now.
So...., what's the next lesson?
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Post by Tally-Wa [crazy admin #1] on Jan 18, 2008 21:51:12 GMT -5
Next lesson is: PART 2! Creating Engaging Characters.
Create a complex character. You can take up to a week if needed for this. Try to create a really interesting character!
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Post by slytherindreamer on Jan 18, 2008 22:52:55 GMT -5
Okay, like could I write a story about the person, or do I have to like write a desciption?
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